I’m so sluggish today… what did I eat last night?
I’m not at all hungry, in fact I feel kind of sick… am I getting what gck-1 just had?
This lower back pain is so unbelievable! Did I twist it funny working out yesterday?
I’m grumpy, I’m moody, I’m so tired of everything! Did I do my devotional yet?
Um, hello boobs. Where did you come from? again, what did I eat last night?
Slight stomach cramp… go check the calendar. Nope, that’s not for another week or two. What did I eat?!
All daily questions that I ask myself.
But sometimes… those same questions have different answers.
I’m so sluggish today… it’s 6:30pm and I’m ready to sleep on the couch. I’ve been tired all day. I haven’t even done anything crazy today. Am I pregnant?
I’m not at all hungry, in fact I feel kind of sick… nauseated? morning sickness? seriously? am I pregnant?
This lower back pain is so unbelievable!… like the kind of back pain I had all throughout my first pregnancy. Pregnant?
I’m grumpy, I’m moddy, I’m so tired of everything!… Is there a baby in my belly causing this crazy hormonal roller coaster?
Um, hello boobs. Where did you come from?… pregnant? is this a pregnant sign or a pre-period sign?
Slight stomach cramp… go check the calendar…. Could I be pregnant? Is it possible? I know I’m not suppose to get my monthly lameness until next week so is this pregnancy? Is this pre-period? Is there a little baby in there?
Every question I ask myself has two answers.
Is it normal or am I pregnant.
After a miscarriage, you’re more in tune with your body. You understand things a little better… and sometimes you think you know it all… that’s why the mixed answers. What you think you know, could be something else. It could be nothing. It could be that you drank too many chai lattes yesterday so you used up all your energy and are sluggish today. Or it could be that there’s this amazing life growing inside of you.
Always questioning. Always second guessing. Always wondering.
That’s been my life after the miscarriage.
But I know one thing. One thing for sure…
So while I may question what’s constantly going on with my body, I know that I never have to question His plans.