Life After
I’m so sluggish today… what did I eat last night?
I’m not at all hungry, in fact I feel kind of sick… am I getting what gck-1 just had?
This lower back pain is so unbelievable! Did I twist it funny working out yesterday?
I’m grumpy, I’m moody, I’m so tired of everything! Did I do my devotional yet?
Um, hello boobs. Where did you come from? again, what did I eat last night?
Slight stomach cramp… go check the calendar. Nope, that’s not for another week or two. What did I eat?!
All daily questions that I ask myself.
But sometimes… those same questions have different answers.
I’m so sluggish today… it’s 6:30pm and I’m ready to sleep on the couch. I’ve been tired all day. I haven’t even done anything crazy today. Am I pregnant?
I’m not at all hungry, in fact I feel kind of sick… nauseated? morning sickness? seriously? am I pregnant?
This lower back pain is so unbelievable!… like the kind of back pain I had all throughout my first pregnancy. Pregnant?
I’m grumpy, I’m moddy, I’m so tired of everything!… Is there a baby in my belly causing this crazy hormonal roller coaster?
Um, hello boobs. Where did you come from?… pregnant? is this a pregnant sign or a pre-period sign?
Slight stomach cramp… go check the calendar…. Could I be pregnant? Is it possible? I know I’m not suppose to get my monthly lameness until next week so is this pregnancy? Is this pre-period? Is there a little baby in there?
Daily.
Every question I ask myself has two answers.
Is it normal or am I pregnant.
After a miscarriage, you’re more in tune with your body. You understand things a little better… and sometimes you think you know it all… that’s why the mixed answers. What you think you know, could be something else. It could be nothing. It could be that you drank too many chai lattes yesterday so you used up all your energy and are sluggish today. Or it could be that there’s this amazing life growing inside of you.
Always questioning. Always second guessing. Always wondering.
That’s been my life after the miscarriage.
But I know one thing. One thing for sure…
So while I may question what’s constantly going on with my body, I know that I never have to question His plans.
Tags: daily living, miscarriage, questions
I know what you mean girl I am the same way. Hello boobs, why am I so nauseous etc. I freak myself out every time I am a but irregular…. I think is was the miscarriage I had years ago because I’ve been this way for a while. Glad to know I’m normal.
oh honey. i know those thoughts all too well, even though we just had a baby and aren’t trying…the miscarriage from last year will always haunt me. even though I know God’s plans are perfect, i miss our first baby like crazy.
love you sweetie – i’ll be praying for you!
Lovely post! I haven’t had a miscarriage, an official one anyways (the first month we had a faintly positive test then the next week I got my period)….. but we have been trying to have a baby for months now. I’ve been more in tuned with my body and find that I second guess and ask myself the same questions all the time. It’s hard to be actively trying and not have it happen yet, but I always try to remind myself of the same thing. Remind myself that it’s God’s timing and to always have faith and trust in Him.
I still think about that day. I pray for you, your heart and your family. Love you.
I had a miscarriage a month ago at 16 weeks. It’s been hard to deal with this reality that i’ll never see or hold my baby. Hear is first cry, laugh, giggles. I’m left with nothing but fingers and footprints. I’ll never see my baby again. Mommy loves u Ashton. xxxxx