Imagine calling your dog only to have them not respond. You call them again. Nothing. You call them again a little louder and you hear something rustling about and see a head hung low slowly turning the corner. But the head is shaking. Back and forth and back and forth like it’s repeatedly saying no, no, no, no. You gasp and run to the dog only to ind them in a daze and their head won’t stop shaking. You try to hold them and pet them hoping the shaking will stop but it won’t. You ask for kisses and receive them. The shaking stops. They stop kissing, the shaking returns. You ask for kisses again and the shaking finally subsides. Only 20 seconds or so has passed. Your heart is racing. Your mind is racing. What in the world was that?!

Imagine this happening again. And again. And again. But for a little bit longer each time and the kisses not working like they did the first time. Always sudden. Never any warning. No answers.

This morning Marlee had what I like to call an “episode.” It was the longest one she’s had yet. It lasted for 5 minutes. The kisses worked twice and only for 5 seconds each. Holding her head close to me didn’t work. Cuddling her close to me didn’t work. Gck-1 screaming in the background for food (it was 6:30am) only made things worse. I couldn’t leave Marlee’s side. Not with her like this. I just held her close to me. Telling her that she’s good girl and everything will be alright. Gently petting her head. Tears fell down my cheeks but I didn’t want to move to wipe them up. I just wanted Marlee to know that she was ok and that she wasn’t alone.

She wasn’t alone. I’ve been there. I used to have what the dr’s called “episodes.” I’ve had cat scans. I’ve had MRI’s. I’ve had heart monitors. I’ve been on pills for epilepsy and seizures. The dr’s still couldn’t tell us what was wrong. I was scared and I didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t want her to be scared and alone.

I no longer have “episodes,” but Marlee does. Always out of the blue. Always months and months apart. Please send out a prayer for our Marlee. It’s already been hard with Chakka gone. I couldn’t imagine having her leave us too.

Tags: boxer dog, head shakes, scared

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