Vain?! Who Me?! Never!!
Well maybe just sometimes… but only if we’re talking about pictures… past pictures… pictures that I look good in.
You see I secretly have the urge to make an album filled with all the pictures that I thought I looked amazing in. I lie to myself and tell myself that it’s for gck-1 to gaze upon when she’s all grown up or it’s for B if God forbid I am to leave this world before him. But neither is 100% true.
Secretly, it’s for me.
It’s for me to remember just how amazing I looked when I was 18 and at the time thought I was an ugly duckling. It’s for me to remember that although he’s not here, my dad passed on to me his incredible eyes. I can look at those eyes and remember him. It’s for me to look through and remember the confidence I had to wear the most insane low rise jeans ever, while not even thinking twice about it.
I’d like to think that even if I shared this little secret with you, it’s still a secret. To me it is.
Vain? I don’t think so.
Maybe it has something to do with me being a middle child and wanting the approval of my dad. Maybe it has to do with me being a chubby chub chub growing up and not so much anymore. Or maybe it just has to do with me actually liking what the camera saw, and agreeing with B that at that moment, I was indeed pretty and beautiful.
Now I’m off to print out some of my secret prints. Shhh. Don’t tell anyone ;)
and now just to prove that I’m not 100% vain… here’s a picture of me… in a not so glorious state… several years ago. At least the sign in the back helps me out!
I have a few of myself that I would like plastered on my walls….especially on those ‘ugly’ feeling days.
I don’t blame you at all…make a pretty book!!!
That picture is funny…love the HOT sign!
I always used to think that celebrities or people who were super rich that had a jumbo sized painting of them above their fireplace or in their living room were weird… but now I completely understand why they did it!
I totally understand what you’re saying. I practically cry when I see pictures of me in the past, when I used to complain about how much I hated my body. If I could have that same body back now, I’d be forever grateful!
So you celebrity your beauty however you want!!
It’s just like that song that came out not too too long ago, the “Sunscreen Song” there’s a couple lines in there that say, “You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.”
Words to live by right there!
LOL I was just looking back at pics from last years vacation. I blasted my husband “You must start picking up the camera. The kids are only gonna remember me as old and grey, I need some shots when I am still youngish and hot!” So obviously. I get this:)
I hate to see pictures or video of myself. Actually, I forbid anyone from taking them. I don’t think I’ve ever been happy with myself. It seems to be the woman’s way, doesn’t it?
I look back at pictures of me when I was 18-20 and kick myself in the head for thinking that I didn’t look good. I hate how much emphasis is put on how skinny women need to look… what about the guys?!
I’m going through a “hate me” stage… after the move and the wedding I just kinda let myself go… and now I’m hating myself for it!
I can’t stand watching video of me either… but because I think my voice sounds bad! weird but true ;)